BAD DAY!!!!

So today I just had a terrible day. I don't know where it went wrong, but it just crashed at the end. I'm starting to feel like a nice "side dish" to everyone's meal....the one that everyone takes a nibble of...but are much more interested in their main meal. Usually I'm content with being the side dish for everyone...but today...it just turned UN-ok. I'm so tired of feeling like the person that brings people back to happy...or the one that people just smile at. I want to be someone's person that keeps them happy. The one that someone is dying to tell me what happened in their day....I just want to feel like I absolutly, no-doubt-about-it, belongs to someone. It'd be ok if it was a girl...but I'm so tired of being friends with just girls. I want either a girlfriend or just a dude who I can just hang out with whenever I like. I don't mean to like undermine the friends that I have, cuz I love 'em all, but I don't know....I just feel like if it came to having me in any group of friends it wouldn't feel like something were missing if I wasn't there. I know that if anyone reads and posts concerning this blog...it'll say something to the extent of "I need to have you with me" or something to that extent...but I don't know if I can really belive that...cuz I don't think that if anyone thinks of their closest friends, they think of me close to first or whatever. I don't know...I feel like a total idiot saying all this, but whatever...I guess I just wanna get it off my chest...and it'll explain any "sadness" you might see in me over the next few days. I feel so selfish right now, but I'm tired of thinking of everyone BUT me....so I guess I can be selfish every once and a while...right? AHHHHHH! I feel like I'm rambling so I'm off to listen to music...write a song...or just releave stress. I'll write a happier...more informative blog later. You know...just to let ya'll know my life happenings.